Her Death

Just thought i should share a story i wrote when i was 14years old. Bonne Apetito ^^

I was 7years older than her, she was 9 & I was 16.
She had round blue eyes & long blonde hair. I had dark
eyes & short black hair.
I hated the fact that Everyone loved her. My parents paid
more attention to her than they did to me so I was never at
home but rather with my friends whom I felt at home with
and rather accepted.
Whenever my little sister came to my room, with the
hatred I had for her I screamed at her and told her to go
play with her dolls.
At school my friends and I always made fun of her.
One day, at home, during dinner she brought out a little piece paper
and handed it to me smiling charmingly and asked me to
open it.
I thought it was childish & useless to look at the paper so
I teased her & without taking a look at what was in the
paper I squeezed it & threw it away.
I could see the tears welling up in her eyes, soon she got
up & ran to her room & all I did was laugh about it.
On a hot sunny day.
With my headphones on, singing out loud and riding my
bike back home from school, I rode down the street.
I couldn't wait to get back home & shower.
A few yards from my house, I noticed an
ambulance packed in front of my house so I paddled
faster. People clustered around my house.
I was too busy looking at them when I heard my mom
scream! A stretcher came out through our front door.
It looked like something was under the white sheets.
My dad was holding my mom back as she was trying to
hold the stretcher as it was being pulled towards the
ambulance. Seeing the tears in my mom's eyes I became
so scared & confused.
I came down from my bike and removed the headphones.
I dropped my school bag on the ground and walked as fast
as I could, almost running towards the stretcher.
I asked the paramedics what was going on but no one
gave me an answer.
I was angry and confused and scared & all that so I just
pulled the sheets off to see what was hidden underneath.
It was white & pale.
So lifeless but yet still pretty.
I kept on staring at it with awe in my eyes.
The paramedics covered it back and continued moving the
stretcher towards the ambulance.
I felt like I was becoming deaf & dumb.
I couldn't hear what the neighbors were saying.
All I could hear was my own heart beat & my thoughts out
Like a statue I stood and looked at everyone.
I could see my mom, in tears.
I could see my neighbors, talking, crying, whispering.
"Is she really the one on the stretcher??" I kept on asking
myself in my head.
I couldn't believe what I saw.
I kept on praying I would wake up from the nightmare...
I ran upstairs praying that I'd find my 9yr old sister fast
asleep or singing one of her dumb nursery rhymes in her
I opened the door to her room & it was empty.
"Oh My God"
I kept on saying to myself.
"It's all a dream right?!"
"It can't be true, she's somewhere here playing hide &
I sat on her little chair.
Still thinking aloud.
Still shocked.
Then something caught my eyes.
A little book.
A diary.
I flipped through it & I stumbled on a page.
It had my name on it ...
The last page...
"Hi melisa,
I've always wanted us to be best of friends but you hated
me so much & it made me cry.
Mom always said we'll be friends some day & I believed
I tried being nice to you.
I tried making you notice me in school.
But you & your friends were always bullying me in school
& it hurt me so bad :(
I always felt so lonely and I wanted us to be best of
I drew a picture of me & you having fun.
I thought you'd love me
if I did that
But rather you teased me and threw the picture away
Without even looking at it.
I cried till my eyes turned red.
I was hoping you'd come to my room & tell me you were
sorry but you never showed up.
I know you hate me so I've made up my mind to stay out
of your life for a long long time.
Hope mom & dad show you much love like they did to me.
See you in heaven soon, Melisa.
I love you big sis.
Your little sister♥"
It fell out of my hands and dropped to the floor.
I heard someone call out my name softly
I heard it!
it was her voice, my little sister's voice.
I turned back to see if she was there.
But it was just her bed.
My hands were shaky.
I began to hyper ventilate.
For the first time in years, tears flowed from my eyes.
It was like knives were being used to cut through my
Oh the pain!!
The tears!!!!
Only then did it dawn on me that I didn't hate her after all, I
was only jealous.
I loved her too...
If only I had listened and paid more attention to my little
If only I had cared for her.
If only I showed her how much I loved her too.
If only ....
It was on the news the next day.
"9 year old girl drowns herself in
Bathtub because of severe depression..."
Its been 11 years since it happened &
A day hasn't gone by without me feeling the guilt.

Oct 15, 2012


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